If i’m a good girl

oooooooooooooooooh, piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink and sooooo smaaaaaaaaaaaall.

it will look so cute next to my exactly-the-same-colour-of-metallic-pink gameboy micro which i got for christmas and am OBSESSED with. especially harry potter & the chamber of secrets. in fact, i’m off to transfiguration class right now…

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Adults react to teenagers as they do to dogs � you know, two are cute, five are scary and twenty a riot

i’m delighted to read that scott westerfield has written a fourth book in the uglies trilogy called ‘extras’. a fourth book in a trilogy? how very douglas adams i hear you say… well in mr westerfield’s own words

Uglies, Pretties, and Specials are one story, the coming of age of Tally Youngblood. Or, as I half-jokingly refer to it, �The Making of an Eco-Terrorist!� And that story is done.

So what�s Extras? Is it just . . . extra?

Well, no. It�s not just extra, it�s more.

Warning: Mild spoilers begin here, and they�re non-mild if you haven�t read Specials yet. (highlight to read)

Extras is set a couple of years after the �mind-rain,� a few earth-shattering months in which the whole world woke up. The cure has spread from city to city, and the pretty regime that kept humanity in a state of bubbleheadedness has ended. Boundless human creativity, new technologies, and old dangers* have been unleashed upon the world.

Culture is splintering, the cities becoming radically different from each other as each makes its own way into this strange and unpredictable future . . .

It�s Diego times a planet, and it�s a pretty interesting time to be fifteen.

That�s how old my protagonist is. That�s right, Tally Youngblood is not the viewpoint character of Extras! Deal with it. Sometimes one needs new fish to fry.

But will Tally be making a guest appearance? Well, it�s not like she retired at the end of Specials. But maybe I should let her answer:

“Be careful with the world, or the next time we meet, it might get ugly.”

oooooh, so exciting. unfortunately i’ll have to wait until october to read it – but i’m sure it will be worth the anticipation.

my review of ‘pretties’

To write a diary every day is like returning to one’s own vomit.

i had an interesting experience this week. as you may remember my parents are clearing out their attic at the moment and they just brought through a tonne of old books, school certificates and so on for me to go through. well, lo and behold one bag contained all of my old diaries spanning from about age 12 to 19/20 ish. first crushes, bad teenage poetry, identity crisises, a lot of what richard curtis refers to as ‘the total agony of being in love’

in the past when clearing out our flat i have allways found re-reading old letters and so on a singularly solopsistic and bittersweet pleasure so when i sat down to go through them all i expected to find it an emotional experience. melancholic, nostalgic, hideously embarassing at the very, very least.

in fact i found it, to my shock, completely boring. i skimmed through the whole load in about 15 minutes and binned the lot. apparantly porn gets less ‘effective’ with re-use – maybe memories are the same?

i have the horrible feeling this means i’ve finally grown up….

watching too much tv will make us insane

before i start, let me preface this with the fact that i know i shouldn’t be frying my brain by youtubing programmes like project catwalk but what can i say? these things happen…

the episode i watched tonight involved the fledgling designers being set a breif to design a dress for kelly osbourne. i thought this was really interesting brief since kelly has a very strong sense of style herself and is not just a bland keira knightley type clotheshorse. now obviously kelly isn’t going to be sashaying down the catwalk in some ludicrous reality-tv creation and instead is on the judging pannel, so they get to choose a girl to wear it…

… from the clutch of six foot size four catwalk models that bear no physical resemblance to miss osbourne whatsoever (5ft nothing about a size 14-16 i’m guessing). but so far so fine, the design could accomadate for this, and i’m thinking if it was me i’d pick the one that at leat has a bit of bum and boob to work with.

of course none of them do this, and one model is even picked because she is quote unquote “thin as an eel”

am i alone here in sensing that this is just a teensy weensy bit insane??

to be fair the only dress of the three that a) kelly might actually wear and b) kelly might actually be able to zip up (far right picture) did win the competion so the judges weren’t completely mad.

but still….

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Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.

pictured above Torchwood’s new ‘adult’ direction

well, i’ve been putting it off all week but the time has come for the end of series Torchwood review.

*sigh*

it is with heavy heart that i begin…

you may recall that i was super ramped-up about this programme, being a) a big fan of the recent dr who series’ and b) a BIG fan of the lovely captain jack. you may also recall that i gave a warm welcome to the first couple of episodes, but with a couple of niggling concerns…

those concern?

oh, they would be the pretty much the whole point of the show. dammit.

WHAT WAS GOOD ABOUT IT

i’ve liked most of the episode stories, particularly ‘small worlds’ and there is a slight edge to the action that you can’t get away with pre watershed. i have enjoyed jack’s backstory developing and the fact that we are still nowhere near knowing all about him and what he did between ‘parting of the ways’ and torchwood. i think the actress who plays gwen is great and would make a very good who-style companion. she has a great face and a pleasant lack of ‘tits and arse’
ummm. that’s about it…

WHAT WAS BAD ABOUT IT

i cannot stand the other two central characters. tosh because, allthough her character is fine (uptight computer nerd) the actress is apalling. ‘greeks bearing gifts’ was her spotlight episode and between her and the alien (a daft, smug blonde that i’m sure used to be in eastenders) it was almost unwatchable. owen is just annoying – too much cheeky in his chappy. he’s one of those monkey faced norman wisdome types that are physically impossible of carrying any gravitas whatsoever. gwen & owen are a sort of item and it is the most ‘who gives a fuck’ relationship in the history of tv.
also, the ‘adult’ content….

bearing in mind the publicity blurb said that it would be:

“…dark, wild and sexy. The X-Files meets This Life. …a stand-alone series for adult audiences, which will have its own unique identity. “

the writers (and i suspect we are really talking russel t davies here – because it bears ALL the hallmarks of queer as folk, which i also wasn’t keen on) have mistaken adult for teenage. where the humour in who is breezy torchwood is just too much out and out rudeness (not even inuendo) and way to much aren’t-we-modern same sex shagging. must they all be ‘pansexual’? by episode six, let me get this right:

gwen had snogged an alien chick, tosh had shagged an alien chick, tosh was in love with owen but owen was shagging gwen who also has a mickeyesque boyfriend and who was also possibly in love with jack. jack also had a bit of a snog with ianto who had an ex girfriend/half cyberwoman locked in the basement.
by episode six.
good grief. it’s cardiff, not melrose place…
ironically jack who it was established in the first couple of episodes goes for ‘anything with a pulse’ has had very little action and probably the only really affecting storyline (a friendship with an old lady who had been his lover when she was young and believed him to be his own son)

the closing two-header was better as there was less shagging and a bit more ‘plot’ but did include the most risably overplayed and historically unbelievable kiss in the history of tv, or as one reviewer put it : “a gay remake of the Nicholas Lyndhurst time travel “comedy” Goodnight Sweetheart

i could go on, but i won’t…

i’m looking forward to seeing jack back in the next series of dr who and my ideal scenario would be for them to axe torwood while they are behind and have jack as an intermitantly recurring character in dr who. i would hate, hate, hate for him to dissapear alltogether but watching torchwood hack the character to pieces may be even more painful. the only way i can imagine them being able to revive the series would be to start over with jack returning to a different time/place and other than john barrowman, a different cast.
and a DIFFERENT SCRIPT

hmmph.
poor jack, first he gets dumped by the doctor – and now this.

still, we’ll always have cardiff…