when i first moved here i was so excited to have an elevator that i never took the stairs until one day someones grandmother told me how she only ever uses the lift in her sheltered housing complex on laundry day when she has to carry all her washing and i was shamed into walking.
i live in a nice building. a clean building. so it was a surprise to discover that nobody ever cleans the stairs. the reason i know this is that there has been this used plaster there for two months now. i’m counting. first it was belly up but now, mercifully, it has turned over. i have called it Bob. every time i pass i say “hello Bob, still here?”
i’ll almost miss him if he disapears one day. almost.
marilyn's shampoo 
i can’t beleive you have blogged about your little “friend”.
sorry. he’s been playing on my mind somewhat.
i didn’t realise you had such a dirty mind.
actually i am really sorry about that last post, inexcusable really.
but saying that, maybe a bad joke is not as bad as a blog about a plaster.
what does everyone else think?
hmph. i’m sure the world will be thrilled to know about Bob.
I love Bob, he is a tenacious, sticky little bastard.
I say start a Blog called A picture of Bob a Day.
And I reckon your stairs are cleaned, it’s just the cleaners have formed an attachment to Bob and are loathe to remove him. They call him “Dear wee Bob”.
Please forgive my silliness.
lol “Dear wee Bob” lol
i so hope you are right.
you know, i did consider taking a picture of him everyday until he disapears/i move but i couldn’t help thinking that might be slightly ‘pathalogical’ so i’m going to settle for a cheery wave and an “allright Bob?” as i pass.
but i’ll let you know of any exciting developments in the Bob-o-sphere…
ok apart fae callisto, she doesnt count.
pair of mingers.
IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY THEN DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL you horrible little joy-killer.
but…..its a plaster, A PLASTER I WANT REMOVED BEFORE I CATCH SOMTHING,
and here’s you making friends with it, hanging out, posing for photos together, introducing him to all your friends, helping him on his quest for fame.
WHAT ABOUT ME HUH?
if i ever return home to find you tounging the little prick, we are through…..YOU HEAR ME? THROUGH!
oh.
tounging.
there
really
was
no
need
for
that.
i feel violated.
i tell you what feeling violated is…
looking you in the eye when i can see his little gummy blue manky stains all over you, when i come in after a hard day.
but i’ve nowhere else to go, and i need you.
i just hope there is room for both of us in your life.
he’s only a wee fella. and i never bring him into our home.
please though all i ask, is that you dont let the neighbours see you,
my pride has been damaged enough, and no size comparison will fill the hole in my heart.
and please…..be ‘careful’
not just for the sake of your health, and mine for that matter, but one day he will just get up and leave (probobly with one of your friends in australia – or he might even just latch onto another stranger)
and muggins here will be left to bring up a whole hoard of little skanky corn plasters, whilst you’ll no doubt be out gallavanting trying to pick up some old sodden bandage.
or i may embrace my inner-dyke and go for a ‘sanitary product’
ENOUGH
i just crossed my own line.
yeah i stopped myself from writing that.
anyway i’m to go find a clean pair of veruca socks (just to keep you on your toes)
x
That was so kind of you, linking to a wiki definition of a “plaster” just for uncivilized Yanks like me.
I say Bob is a lovely band-aid. I’d like to see some Bob fan fiction.
lol. patronising bitch aren\\\’t i?
ooh Bob fan-fiction! if you shipped for Bob who would you ship him with?
“……….and bob slowly peeled him self away from her dominant heel, allowing her to ooze her gratitude all over the hall carpet.
“its ok, the cleaners will take care of it” she whispered through his fleshtoned coating…”
isn’t that the tone of fan fiction or should we make him gay too?
that’s about it. the gay stuff is officially called ‘slash‘ which is strangely ‘apropriate’ wouldn’t you say?
“Shipping?” You’re just showing off now.
I ♥ Bob.
i know.
it’s nothing to be proud of.
p.s how did you do that little heart?
Did you call him Bob because he is dirty and scungey like Sir Bob?
did hoskins get some royal kudos for all the good work he did for british telecom?
“its good to tawk yoroiness”
bob geldof/bob hoskins/BT … i’m all confused now … what’s going on?
what?
stay calm dear this is what happens when you post about the utterly banal and expect to get away with it.
you wanna talk about bob?
LETS TALK ABOUT FUCKING BOB!
lets talk about how the cigarette ends on the bottom step know about my “problem” with “you know what” and are now giggling and whispering “********* dick” everytime i walk past them.
are you talking about that little used plaster on the stairs?
♥ = & hearts ; (without the spaces)
You’ve all gone mad.
everywhere i go i hear things giggling and whispering.
i am going to kill you all
=hearts
balls.
&hearts ?
=&hearts
why am i such a moron?
you may think I’ve gone insane… but I promise, I will kill again!
-♥
♥
i ♥ beating you
GODDAM
nice one joe, i’d like to see that fucking band aid make love heart symbols on her blog.
he doesn’t need to show off in such a pathetically machismo-fueled way to win my ?
Man, I ♥ you guys so much. 😆
😆
i’m just happy i can finally do the ? thing !